For a living,
one man wakes up every day,
puts on his hat,
hangs up his hat,
and walks away.

He had learnt,
years ago now,
that nothing feels as real
as it did the first time.
At age fifteen, it felt divine.


soppy b***s***

Confine you to The Mine;
the vault that lies outside of thinking,
outside of dreaming.
No more to shine

to me.
I’m sorry,
but it cuts me when you do.
Haven’t I told you? You always do

to me.
So, I’d rather forget than remember,
the light we shone in together.
I’d rather put it out of sight.

By night,
headfirst we swim in the Depths of Forever.
My dreams you can’t escape;
you surrender.

No place for you there,
where you contradict and tease.
That’s just what my mind does to please me,

I know.

“the experience of the Self is always a defeat for the ego’ [unfinished]

Enter, most shadowy of my depths.

I know you grow from within, not behind.
I know you swam all those light years to get here.
I know your dance partners can’t hear your heels.
I know you struggle at the table to be heard.
I know you’ve been banished more times than allowed.
I know you’re truer than my ‘I’, longer than my height, and louder than my cry.
I know you’re older than that vessel you have hidden in for 25 years.
I know you take flight each night to spy on Artemis; in the woodland, help her hunt.
I know you chose the 25th of November because you fancied yourself as a Centaur.
I know you sweat for boredom, not for danger, hate for love, and love for pleasure.
I know you’d be freest as a bird; nothing’s as bountiful as the sky.
I know you love the water not for its wetness, but for its fire.
I know you felt the burn of rope as witches hung, and an alchemist’s desire to be young.
I know! I know! I know!

You say you know, but are you ready now to be?

No-one here to touch me.

a knife I bring to my right leg.
Just a pinprick.
Just something that says,
“There, you’re feeling.”

It’s that, or forget.